Why Rage?

What set me into the exploration of feminine rage.

I heard myself say the words “Rage Is So Femme” to my friend on the phone a few months ago when we were talking about why we tranquilize our rage as women. 

I decided to put the phrase on a hat for myself, and ever since that I just wondered when my rage would set in. 

I'm confused - because society asks that women be docile, tranquil doves that give life and sacrifice themselves for the good of others and shut the fuck up about it. To me, feminine rage (and feminine energy for that matter) is non-directional. It is flames. It is the protection that kicks in when we see a threat. It is this beautiful swirling chaos of love and anger and sexuality and purpose.

I started to learn how rage manifests and why when I started to ask people around me about their relationship to rage. And these conversations started because of my hat.

I never felt connected to my rage - I would think “Rage - oof someone’s mad, let’s avoid it.” 

To me, rage is extremely personal. For me, it is clarity. 

It burns away all the ancillary thoughts that keep me in a pattern of pacification of myself and others. People do each other wrong. Boundaries are broken. Lies are told. And that warrants an ability to love one’s self enough to move out of that circumstance by reaching in and connecting to why something makes us enraged. 

All too often, we just try to move past uncomfortable emotions and we tell ourselves that we shouldn’t make anyone else uncomfortable by the mere act of self expression. That keeps us stuck in patterns of emotions that we keep shoving down, which then become reactions that our poor little psyches don’t understand. 

Someone once said to me “Rage doesn’t serve you. Life is about focusing on love.” But I don’t think we are meant to be one emotion all of the time; we are meant to feel all the textures that are humanly possible in this life. I know what it’s also like when rage is expressed in ways that harm other people. That’s not what I’m talking about, and that’s usually how people perceive rage: as harm towards another person. 

Enter: MY Feminine Rage  

A rage has come into me as a guiding light. As a way to trust my intuition even when it doesn’t make “sense.” I have seen the other side of tranquilizing myself - of stifling myself with the guise of peace and laid-back energy. As a child of abuse and recently ending a traumatic 10 year marriage - I will not betray myself like that again. 

So if someone is telling you to calm down, or to not trust that voice inside of you, I’m here to tell you to trust that shit.

Feminine energy is intrinsically fierce and chaotic and fiery.

I’m here to figure out my own rage through sitting with the fact that it’s the most feminine thing in the world. So that’s what this is for - let's let ‘em know that Rage is So Femme. Put on a hat, and chat with the girls - you never know what you might find. 

Want to see my process? You can find me on substack here.